Cognizant of this development, and desirous of revising marriage preparation procedures in a way which would reflect and promote these theological and cultural changes, the bishops of Minnesota agreed on March 7, 2006, to issue a new Common Marriage Preparation Procedure for the six Catholic dioceses in Minnesota. The following procedures became effective in the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis on October 15, 2006.

(Portions of this document are dispersed throughout this Wedding Policy and are designated with the corresponding paragraph to the Archdiocese Policy. To view the complete document, please visit this document on the Archdiocese web site: http://www.archspm.org/family/pdfs/19%20points%20MP%20Procedures.PDF

An Overview of Church Policies Regarding Christian Unity

"Married Christians, in virtue of the sacrament of matrimony, signify and share in the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and His Church; they help each other to attain to holiness in their married life and in the rearing and education of their children; and they have their own special gift among the people of God."
(Rite of Christian Marriage)

Preparation includes: pastoral discernment of the engaged couple’s readiness and capacity for, and understanding of, sacramental marriage; administering, evaluating, reporting and discussing the results of a diocesan approved premarital inventory (e.g., FOCCUS or PREPARE), pastoral preparation of the couple and catechesis about marriage and family life; participation in a diocesan approved marriage preparation program; liturgical preparation for the wedding; encouragement to receive the sacrament of reconciliation, and the sacrament of confirmation if it has not been received.
(Archdiocese Common Marriage Preparation Procedure, October 15, 2006; ¶ 3)

A. Receiving the sacrament of baptism “opens the door” for a person to receive the other sacraments of the Church. If there are no impediments to marriage, either canonical or civil, a baptized Catholic has the opportunity and privilege to be married in the Catholic Church. Because of this, if at least one of the parties is a baptized Catholic, and a registered, practicing member of St. Michael's Parish, he/she can be married in the parish church or chapel.

The celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage is an event that occurs in the context of a lived faith experience. Therefore, it should occur within the parish community where at least one of the parties is an active member. Young people who have moved away from St. Michael's for school or work, but whose parents are still active members here, are most welcome to be married at St. Michael’s. Couples residing within the City of Stillwater who are not currently registered as parishioners may register and be able to fill out a Wedding Request Form. Please see the “Wedding Contribution” section for couples who are not members and do not reside in Stillwater. Very few exceptions will be made to this policy. Any exceptions can only be made by submitting a letter to the Pastor.

Given the spiritual nature of the Sacrament of Marriage, maintenance of the spiritual life is crucial not only to the individual, but the relationship. Therefore, Catholics planning to marry at St. Michael’s are expected to attend Sunday Mass each weekend and participate in stewardship towards the parish in time, talent, or treasure. In the case of an interfaith marriage, it is possible for the wedding to occur in a church of another faith. The Catholic party must obtain the necessary dispensations through a priest or deacon, in order for the marriage to be sacramentally valid. The preparation procedure may be modified depending on what is required through the non-Catholic church.

B. Because you have chosen to unite yourselves in Christian marriage, the way you celebrate the wedding is very important. The tone, attitude, mood, readings and music must reflect this. A wedding Mass or Ceremony does not really differ much from the way the community celebrates its liturgy on Sunday. The primary difference is the addition of the wedding ritual. The ritual is an expression of faith. This is an important aspect for you to know and remember as you begin your preparation for the celebration of your wedding. By choosing to be married in the Church, you are choosing the Church's ritual and liturgy. Our Wedding Coordinator and Director of Liturgy and Music at St. Michael’s Parish will work with you to ensure that your liturgy is an appropriate and meaningful celebration of your Christian union. (Remember to contact our Wedding Coordinator as soon as you can after your initial meeting with the Priest/Deacon.)

The manner in which the wedding party is dressed is also important and should be respectful of the sacred nature of a Christian wedding celebration. Please exercise good judgment when choosing the bride’s and bridesmaids’ gowns.

Pastoral leaders or their delegates are to help couples understand the marriage ritual of the Catholic Church, including appropriate and approved options regarding wedding music and readings. The wedding liturgy should involve the whole assembly and reflect the liturgical practice of the Church.

C. Early in the marriage preparation process, in a manner that is not confrontational or condemnatory, cohabitating couples must be respectfully challenged with the gospel message of integrity, commitment, faithfulness and chastity. Cohabitating couples should be encouraged to reflect on their situation and to see it in light of the gospel message. Couples should reflect on why they have decided to cohabit and should be helped to consider the possible consequences, including harm to their spiritual well-being and harm to their ability to discern and ultimately to give valid sacramental consent. They should pay attention to factors that present special challenges to cohabitating couples and put them at risk for future marital disruption. In most cases, cohabitating couples should be asked to live apart until they are married. If a pastoral leader believes that a cohabitating couple is unable to give valid sacramental consent, the leader should postpone the wedding (not deny the marriage) until the situation is resolved.
(Archdiocese Common Marriage Preparation Procedure, October 15, 2006; ¶ 12)